Cats are natural companions for writers, not only because they’re relatively independent and undemanding of one’s attention—though there is that—but also because they tend to strike us as kindred spirits. Observers. Introverts. Always practicing their craft—only instead of wordsmithing, a cat’s craft happens to be hunting, and instead of word counts and margin scribbles, the cat’s main concerns are sparring, claw maintenance, and play-hunting: chasing shadows, leaves, laser pointers, and any other facsimile of prey. “The cat does not offer services,” William S. Burroughs wrote. “The cat offers itself.”- from The Half-Wild Muse: On Writers and Their Cats by Tim Weed

It’s Tuesday night, and I’m in typing on a keyboard while a cat nudges its head next to my leg. When you watch a cat, there’s something to envy. Their feet under their stomachs, posed like a loaf of bread. All of their worries flow off of their smoothed coats. Right now, I think about how they didn’t need a degree to have their expenses covered. Or how success can be found by catching a wild bird. I would love for all of my problems to be solved by catching a bird. Instead, I’m an academic. And right now, I’m on the job market.

After defending my dissertation, there’s very little left in the academic trajectory. You have commencement, your friends celebrate you, and you get to enjoy a life without deadlines. Unfortunately, that moment is then steamrolled by job prospects, bills, and figuring out where to go after a PhD. It’s a really strange question to ask, after finally completing something that consumed your life for the last several years. I’m now navigating the job market, and…..it’s not going well. There are not enough jobs, as well as too many jobs you’re overqualified for. You’re always wondering which path is the right one because your head is nowhere near where it used to be when you started this program. Some days, you’re not really looking for work, but just staring at your laptop, as all the “what-ifs”, all the “some days”, all the “would’ve/could’ve/should’ves” run through your mind.

That’s when the cats come in.

In the last several months, I’ve been asked to cat-sit a few times. I jump at the chance when people ask me. I’ve never been good at working from home, and I’m always looking for new writing spaces. When I cat-sit, it’s a perfect solution, mainly because, aside from feedings and cleaning up cat litter, the job really is all about presence. You stay in one spot and soon, the cat befriends you, and you end up spending hours doing nothing. Sometimes, you’ll watch TV, read a book, or spend hours on your phone, all with a cat next to you. They’re the opposite of a drinking buddy in the best way possible. I took these gigs because working on job application stuff needs little else besides blocks of time dedicated to writing. Sure, there’s the occasional pick-up-a-cat-off-from-my-laptop moment, but it’s way better than the million distractions I have when studying from home. In the last few months, I’ve applied to jobs that are either jobs I want or something adjacent. Every time I edited my application packet, I’d look at the cats I was watching, as if I was waiting for advice for this process. I got back nothing. It was perfect.

I’m currently at the state where I’ve both heard back from jobs and need to start planning for the next academic cycle. Every time I get back a response or send out a new application, I wonder if I’m doing something wrong or if this will be the job that determines the next step in my academic trajectory. I’m one rejection letter away from punching a hole through my laptop. When I feel like that, one of the cats will climb onto my keyboard to ground me, or look up at me with their saucer-wide eyes. Then I calm down, and I continue looking for jobs. Maybe this is where I need to be right now- in a calm space, focusing on finding work, surrounded by cats that are completely uninterested in entering academia.

To watch a cat is interesting- there are so many personalities and vibes you’re trying to get along with. Some of them seem friendly at first, until you move or say something in a way that they don’t like, then they complete seclude themselves from you. Some may not even like you before they get to know you, no matter how hard you try or how many fellowships you’ve been awarded. Sometimes, they’ll look at you as you try to get close to them, then give you the worst look of bemusement.

Sometimes, you’ll meet a cat for the first time, and you try, and try, and try, but nothing you do to try to get on their nice side works. Am I enough for this cat? What exactly does this cat need from me? You move closer, then they claw at you. It gets disheartening real fast.

The strange thing is that I’m really good with animals! I grew up in a house with all kinds of pets. In my family, I’m “the cat guy”. But then, you go into a house, and there’s no chance you’ll get close to this cat. Is there something wrong with this cat? Or maybe…I’m not as good of a cat-guy as I thought.

Sometimes, I’ll meet a cat, and getting to know them is so difficult, I feel completely dejected for even trying. There is no hope, and trying to get close to this cat will not happen. You get overwhelmed with a sense of rejection. What was I thinking?!?!! It makes you want to quit and never try again altogether.

I’ve also had a few cat-sitting gigs where I feel…stuck. Like, I can’t do anything besides this. I like being good at this job, but what would I do if I could do something else? Can I do something else? The cats can feel it when I think about this- I’ll start to question this career choice, then a cat jumps on my lap. It’s really hard not to be charmed by a cat.

There’s this expression that I understand but never use: there’s more than one way to skin a cat. Why would you want to skin a cat?!? But after a lot of cat-sitting jobs, it only takes one bad one to think, No, I would totally skin this cat if it was possible.

Just got another rejection letter. Here’s a picture of a cat:

I think the thing that keeps me at it is thinking about why I do this. Not just any person can do this cat-sitting thing. Sometimes, when a cat really likes me, it feels like I’m the only one who can do this job. It’s not that far off from the truth. I’m super qualified, and they find me charming. Those qualities really help with new jobs.

I’ve also met cats that, sure the first meeting didn’t go well, but I don’t think it’s all on the cat. Sometimes, the circumstances make it really hard for them to like you. Things are new and different, or you have a completely different personality from their owners, and it can sometimes freak them out. When that happens, it’s no ones fault. And you can’t be mad at them for that.

Being on good terms with a cat is a lengthy process. When they seem to like you, the process after can be lengthy. You are trying your hardest to be on their good side, but it’s impossible to know what they want. But then, they let you know they like you, and you go along for as long as they need you to. And I’m totally okay with that. I know what’s being asked of me now. All I have to do is deliver.

I think one reason why I keep coming back to these gigs is because it showcases something I’m good at. I like doing this job, and it’s such a heartwarming feeling when you sync well. Those times, it feels like you were born to do this job.

The more I do jobs like these, the more I’m encouraged to think about what I want to do. And why. I’m good at this, yeah, but more importantly, I want to help people. I want to make the world a little better than when I got here. With this job, it starts with cats. You’re nice to them, and the entire animal kingdom is grateful. It’s a nice feeling.

I’d do this job for free. And sometimes I do. But as a recent grad, it’s hard to do work for free right now. It’s hard to ignore the realities of this situation. I get teased about being so idealistic all the time, but I really do believe that if you do a work hard, and do a good job, taking care of cats, the universe finds a way of showing its gratitude. And people appreciate it. The world is a little nicer when animals like you. It makes the world feel a little more accessible.

I’m still at my desk, with the cats still nudging their heads on my leg. I have another twenty job postings to apply to. Under the “special skills” section of my resumé, I put “good with cats”. I have to hope job recruiters get what that means.

Acknowledgements: big thanks to the cats that allowed me to share their pictures: Dolly, O’Malley, JoeBob, and Oliver. They helped make navigating the academic job market a little less terrible. And to their owners, who gave me permission to share these portraits on my silly blog 🙂